50 Things About Me....

I was rushed to Children’s Hospital LA (CHLA) where my mom was just getting out of a surgery at the time, and she was pretty hysterical. I still remember crying and getting pain meds as they x-ray’d it. I felt so alone and scared - I will never forget that. When they found out how bad it was and that I needed immediate surgery, my mom made sure that the Chief of Orthopedic Surgery would operate on me. I began having breathing problems due to my asthma and I just remember a sense of everybody being frantic. I remember some of it so vividly and then my memory just goes blank. The last thing I remember was all the people in masks scrambling to get everything set up and my mom came in and was just being reassured that I would be fine. Something happened during the surgery and to this day, I don’t know what - I only know this from it turning into an 8 hour ordeal, but my parents did not want me to know anything about it. When I think about this, the words that come to mind are fear, crying, ‘everything going blank’, being hospitalized for over a week, and then being in a cast for a very long time. I really want to ask my mom what happened, but I’m afraid it might trigger some type of PTSD in her. It is a very delicate situation for me (tearing up writing about it). I just have never wanted to broach this subject and it doesn’t really help, but it was a ‘formative’ experience from my childhood with lingering effects - less over time for-sure. I’ve never discussed this with ANYONE except you. I just don’t know if / how / why I should broach the subject. Seems so trivial…

da

"Support"

Haylin -

As somebody that's a tad older than you, but a lot less mature. I probably can’t give you much advice ;).  Although, I do think your brain is wise beyond-your-years while your spirit is trailing far behind.  In your journey, you’ve probably found the two types of supporters in your life: 1) People who support Haylin; and, 2) People who support Haylin's ambitions.  They may seem like the same, but they're not.  People that support Haylin will always ask how YOU are doing first - that's their primary concern (Haylin - the person).  People that support Haylin's ambitions will always be more interested in your business and career progression over how you (the person) are doing. You deserve to surround yourself with people that fall into category #1, because those people will inherently always support your ambitions, it just won't be their primary concern.

Life is funny - things happen and you don't always end up where you envision going nor will your journey be a continuum without speed bumps. I think you have an incredible disposition and maturity-level to understand that.  I hope what you've found in your awe-inspiring expertise is an appreciation for not only the smooth parts of the journey, but the rough ‘back roads’ too - I know you have - it’s the grit I so admire.

People don't give up on you when you've been through something traumatic, but they do 'expose' themselves. And sometimes in the best-of-ways that makes you scream “Why didn’t I meet this person until now?”

I’ve realized one thing: I probably was not ready nor worthy to meet YOU until NOW - lightning doesn’t strike twice. 

I feel so lucky whether it happened at 22 or 42 - because…it happened. You are an amazing person who inspires me every day to be a bit more gritty, dare to dream a little bigger, and admire you from up-close and afar.  I will forever love you, Haylin - and in so many ways, I’m glad Haylin came into my life at 42.

"Unexpected romance is the best kind. Unexpected conversations with gorgeous souls are priceless. It's funny how someone who you didn't know last year means so much now…life blesses us with so much but it’s up to each of us to understand what’s worth holding onto. You, my dear…are.

"Luck? I think not."

"Luck is the residue of design" - Branch Rickey (Fmr. Manager of the Brooklyn Dodgers)

Do you ever believe 'luck' is truly that - a serendipitous moment where the stars align at just the right moment to create some fortunate event?  I've never believed that luck is really random.  I think people work hard to 'position themselves' to take advantage of certain situations.  While it may seem like 'random' to the naked eye, it's really not.  I'm not a big fan of Gladwell, but some of the points he brings up in Outliers have some validity - such as the fact that kids born in the first 3 months of the calendar year have a statistically better chance of playing professional hockey due to the age cutoff and size advantage.

Is it luck that Steve Jobs created 4 of the most influential technology products in history (Mac, iPod, iPhone & iPad)?  Is it luck that Jobs invested in a little graphics arts studio called Pixar in the 80s (for $5M) and nearly went broke keeping it running before making the feature film Toy Story, which became (at the time) the most successful animated movie of all time?  Most people don't know that the majority of Jobs' fortune came from Pixar and NOT Apple - he sold Pixar to Disney for $7.4B USD in 2006, and became its largest shareholder.

HAYLIN - I've never met anybody that worked really hard for something and didn't find "the residue of design".  That's what I adore in you....that's what I adore about you - the determination and commitment to go 'all-in' for what you wanted; I adore that all of this is for your dream.  You're not 'trapped by dogma - living with the results of other peoples' thinking'. I hope you always live for your own dreams because they're special....simply because you can call them 'your own'.

Everything I know about your journey so, the success you’ve achieved and what the ceiling is on your potential....it's incredibly difficult not to be inspired and mesmerized.  But that's how it's supposed to be because everything of value in this world is hard to get, or else everybody would have it.  Just keep going and always remember that you are so SPECIAL and ACCOMPLISHED...and the best part is knowing how you’ve been such an incredible mother along the way. These things don’t "just happen" - you made them happen. I genuinely wish us the world because I know you'd know what to do with it.  

I also know we’ll have tough times ahead because everything worth fighting for is; but I’m willing to stay the course with you knowing that the dots never connect looking forward; they only connect looking back - I truly believe that.  Being overwhelmed is one of the worst feelings in the world because of that looming fear of failure.  You'll fail because all humans do.  But I'm confident you'll "fail fast" - you will learn, you will grow....you will power through it all to find 'luck'.  And one-day long from now, you'll look back on all of the work you put in and say..."I wouldn't change it for anything" because it shaped you into who you are and you did it on your terms.  It was your dream....and all of those things that magically fell into place was just the residue of design - nothing more; nothing less.

-MJL

"The Great Gatsby"

Haylin -

Have you ever read “The Great Gatsby”?  It’s a classic that, in my opinion, thematically speaks to the notion that we need to spend more of life cherishing what we have than yearning for what we don’t have. I will say that it does speak to the depth of your intellect and desires to "be your own, make your own, and celebrate the true richness in life's journey".  I think The Great Gatsby has many different interpretations, as all well-written novels do, but there are some interesting themes that can be drawn from it that I think are as relevant today as when it was written. 

I think the 'American Dream', in most instances, is seen as one of materialism - a better life built on better 'things'.  And that's perhaps where the dream is nothing more than an illusion that can never really create a true reality full of bliss.  As the 'ole saying goes, 'no matter what you have, somebody else has more and better.'  In that sense, the materialistic American Dream is a classic game of 'chasing your tail' because as soon as you think you've caught it, it moves further away.  But, many people to-this-day live the American Dream through wealth.  Don't get me wrong, we both know what wealth provides - comfort, efficiency, and guilty pleasures.  However, wealth can never provide the richness of inter-personal relationships - the beauty of navigating life with the support and encouragement of those who mean the most to you.  There is a “defined richness” that is carried in the heart and mind, not in the wallet…

But there is also a very striking gender dynamic in the book as well - one that encompasses the lack of independence of females.  Once again, it's a common theme that is as prevalent today as it was then.  The progression of women in modern society has come a long way since the 1920's - the challenges remain, but new paths can be shredded by those who seek to create them (life yourself)...I think it exposes the downfall of dependence and the rise of independence.  I so adore who you are - a person who has taken upon herself to empower yourself and your children to 'be their own' and in turn, 'make their own'.  And there's no greater career path to do that in than the one you chose…an entrepreneurial mind-healer - a most worthy of all professions for so many of us who lose our ways at times. BUT…it never means you can’t ask for help yourself.

I am impressed by so much of you; I am impressed by your intellect and spice; I am impressed by the richness in life you’ve created while also learning the lessons about the power struggle of independence, self-reliance, determination and the “guts to dream”.  

There is a depth of ambition, a prominence of beauty, and a softness of heart that you very much exhibit - a refined character with much left to gain always trumps a broken character with much left to lose. The former is, well....you.

-MJL